Chapter 37

As the week drew to a close, Katie found herself finally having to admit she was completely exhausted. She was no stranger to working hard. After all that is how her business got to be as successful as it had. But the fact that she wasn't sleeping well at night didn't help any. Kevin had picked the kids up after school that Friday, so Katie snuck down to the stable for a quick ride before an evening ordering appointment with a client. That night she finally decided to do something about not sleeping and took some Tylenol PM. It was just enough to knock her out, letting her sleep until 9 a.m. the next morning. She woke feeling a bit more rested. Becca was stopping by with lunch before Katie's afternoon session. They had sandwiches on the porch, enjoying one of the last warm fall days.

Becca thought Katie looked a little better. "How are you doing, sweetie?" She asked Katie.

"I'm ok. I got a good night sleep and that did help a bit. It has been a rough month." Katie admitted.

"No doubt. Well, you have a nice quiet weekend to look forward to next week." Becca reminded her.

The closer it got, the more she was looking forward to it. "I know, thanks to you! As usual, you know just what I need. Better than I know myself, sometimes. But that is why I love ya!" She smiled at Becca.

"Back 'atcha, sweetie! It will do you good."

"I hope so. Because this is really starting to wear on even me. But never mind, tell me all about your day with David." Katie said, changing the subject. She was good at that these days, Becca noticed.

"Sure. Well, where to start. We had a fabulous time. We walked around the city, saw the sites. I have to say walking around with David is quite a trip. A lot of people recognized him and he was so sweet to everyone. Really nice and patient. He apologized constantly, but it didn't bother me. We had dinner down on the waterfront and then went back to his hotel for a while and talked. That is really about it." Becca said.

"What do you mean that's it? So, how do you like him? Are you going to see him again? " Katie inquired. Despite what she was going through with Jon, she wanted to hear all about her friend's experience.

"Kat, we don't have to talk about it. I mean, I know it must be a little awkward."

"Don't be silly. I can still be happy for you. So tell me." Katie urged.

"Well, yeah, his is such sweetheart. He is so easy to talk to. You wouldn't know he was in one of the world's biggest rock bands. He is just like a regular guy. But an extremely nice one." Becca said, beaming.

"He is pretty cute, too." Katie added, noticing Becca blush slightly.

"Yeah, he is. Very much so. Honestly, I never had a clue until meeting him. He is really awesome and we had a great time. Yes, I think we are going to see each other again. He asked if I wanted to fly up to New York for a couple of days in the next few weeks. I said sure. So we will see how it goes. I am just enjoying it right now. No expectations." She smiled

"That is good. That sounds like fun. And yes, no expectations and just enjoy. Good advice we should all take. " Katie said, as her expression saddened a bit. She was happy for her friend. But it did bring back some thoughts of when she and Jon had met. She pushed those thoughts aside as they finished their lunch.


As the week of Katie's birthday was upon him, Jon spent a great deal of time trying to figure out what he was going to do when he got to Rockport. He had managed to book the room next to Katie's, complete with its own balcony. He knew he had one chance to try and talk to her. And if he screwed it up, that would most likely be it. That is if she would even listen in the first place, he thought. The more he thought about it, the more he figured the best way to break the ice was with a song.

They finished up the greatest hits album by the middle of the week. Jon decided he would drive down, figuring the time to think would do him good. So on Friday morning he tossed his suitcase and guitar in the back of the BMW and he was off.

Katie wrapped up a morning session on Friday, then went back home to throw a few clothes in her suitcase. She called Becca checking to make sure she was all set with the work she was covering for Katie. She then locked the door and drove towards the ocean. She turned the radio on trying to find something to listen to. Since the argument a few weeks ago, she couldn't bring herself to listen to any of their music. It was too painful to hear his voice singing those songs, the songs that spoke of the passion inside of his heart and soul. The passion she had witnessed and missed so much. She had thought things would get better after a few weeks. But she found her thoughts drifting back to him constantly. And when they did, that little nagging voice in her head reminded her of how much he had hurt her. Well, I will live, she told herself. No one ever died of a broken heart. And besides it wasn't like she had been in love with him or anything. She sighed as she turned into Rockport, spotting the ocean on the horizon. Hopefully the cool autumn air and the ocean would soothe her soul like it usually did.

Once she checked into her room at the Inn, she took a walk down to the shore. Being near the water's edge and away from the Inn, she didn't hear a car pull into the driveway. Spotting her car, Jon drove out of the parking lot and parked down the street. He snuck in the side door of the restaurant in case she was around. Not seeing her, he checked into his room and took the elevator upstairs. Once inside he looked out the french doors to the ocean. He spotted a lone figure sitting on the rocks. He felt his heart beat faster as he realized it was Katie. It felt like forever since he had seen her. God, he just wanted to run down there and wrap his arms around her. Seeing her stand up and walk back towards the Inn, he stepped away from the glass. He eventually heard the door to the room next to his open, knowing she was staying in that room. He decided to eat dinner in, so ordered room service. It was a warm day for late October. He opened the doors to the balcony letting in the sea breeze. He heard the door open and close again, figuring she must be going downstairs for dinner. After he finished his dinner and put the tray back outside, he sat on the sofa and flipped channels with the sound off, waiting. He once again heard the door open and close, then heard running water. By this time it was dark out, though the breeze was still unusually warm for a mid fall night.

Next door Katie washed up after having dinner in the restaurant. She put on a pair of blue flannel pajama pants and a fleece pajama top. Having ordered a bottle of wine from room service, she poured herself a glass and decided to sit out on the balcony. She let out a deep sigh as she sat in the rocking chair and took a sip of her wine.

Jon had heard the balcony door open and the creaking of the rocking chair as she sat down. He let out a slow breath as he realized he had been holding it. It was now or never. He picked up his guitar and sat on a chair just inside of the french doors. He took a deep breath and started strumming the guitar letting the words slip slowly off his lips.

Katie heard the guitar notes drifting out into the night air. She couldn't place the song at first, but as soon as she heard the words, she knew. Not able to move she listened to the song as each word drifted over to her. The tears that she had not let herself cry for the past couple of weeks, spilled out over her lids and down her cheeks.

It's hard to remember a time when I didn't have you
when I didn't have nothing but a cold bed to come to at night.
That was all I knew, until there was you.
And then you took my world and turned it all around,
I couldn't live without you now.

Baby, if I can't have your love
If I can't feel your touch I got nothing, yeah
Baby, if I can't taste your kiss, then I don't exist
I got nothing, yeah

No I can't imagine living life without you
I can't imagine living life without your love

I wake up with you by my side
Can't let go, I can't even bear the thought
Of you in another man's eyes
I would lose control, I would die
'Cause now you're in my heart and I can't let you out
I gotta keep you here somehow

Baby, if I can't have your love
If I can't feel your touch I got nothing, yeah
Baby, if I can't taste your kiss, then I don't exist
I got nothing, yeah

If I can't be your man, I wouldn't know who I am
I got nothing, I got nothing

No, I can't imagine living life without you
I can't imagine living life without your love

'Cause I can't imagine living life without you

Can't imagine living life without your love

Believe me baby I don't mean to doubt you
But if you ever leave, that would be the end of me, baby

Baby, if I can't feel your touch I got nothing
If I can't taste your kiss then I don't exist
I got nothing
I got nothing

Baby, if I can't be your man, I wouldn't know who I am
I'd be nothing, yeah
Baby, if I can't have your love
If I can't feel your touch
I got nothing, yeah

No, I can't imagine living life without you
I can't imagine living life without your love

As the song ended, she sat in the chair unable to move or speak. After a minute she heard a knock on her hotel room door. She knew it was him. Finally able to move, she stood up and walked into the room. The internal turmoil was torture. The tears kept slipping down her cheeks. On one hand she wanted nothing more than to open that door and have him wrap his arms around her. But that little voice kept nagging her. She knew once she opened it, her resolve
would crumble. Something within her made her walk to the door and open it slowly. Through the tears she saw him standing in front of her, his own eyes wet. She let out a little sob as he walked toward her and put his arms around her. She could feel him shaking, and feel his own hot tears as he put his face in her neck.

He let out a sigh and whispered in her hair, "Kat, I love you. I love you so much. I am so sorry. Please, Kat. Can you forgive me?" Realizing she was not pulling away from him, him pulled his head back and looked into her eyes. He took her hand and led her to the sofa, "Please just listen for a minute. Just let me speak and then if you want me to go, I will."

The tears still clouding her vision, she nodded.

He looked into her eyes, and spoke. "Kat, I'm so sorry. I was wrong. I was a total jerk. The minute you left I wished I could take it all back. I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you on purpose. The minute you walked out that door, my heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest." He lowered his head for a moment, trying to compose himself enough to speak. But his own tears threatened as he choked up. Oh, the hell with it, he thought as he looked back into her eyes, "Oh God, baby. I love you so much. If you can forgive me, I swear, I will never do or say anything to hurt you like that again" He choked out. She put her hand on his cheek and wiped away the tears. "I'm not perfect, I'll screw up sometimes. But I will never, ever take you, or what is important to you for granted again. I swear, baby. I love you. I can't say it enough."

Seeing the raw emotion in his eyes and hearing him say those words caused something inside of Katie to change. All the anger she felt, all the hurt melted away. And in her own heart she finally realized why she had been so miserable these last few weeks. She let out one more sob as she finally spoke in a whisper, "I love you, too."

Not able to hold back, she started sobbing, letting out all the emotion she had buried since the last time she has seen him. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her into him as close as he could get her. He put his hands in her hair, bringing her mouth to his, kissing her with an urgency he had never felt. She put her hands on his face as she kissed him back, drinking him in. He tasted the mixture of salty tears and wine on her lips, his tongue caressing hers.

After a while he pulled back, looking at her, smiling. "So does this mean you forgive me?"

She couldn't help but laugh through the tears, and nodded. "Yes, damn it, I forgive you. But you had to resort to stealing one of Richie's songs?"

He let out a hearty laugh, "Well, I figured I had screwed up pretty bad, so I could use all the help I could get. And he has never steered me wrong yet."

Not wanting to ever let her go again, he wrapped his arms around her once more. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent. "God, baby, I have missed you so much! That was pure hell."

She nodded, agreeing, "I know it. Most miserable three weeks of my life."

"Damn, woman, you are stubborn. I called and called." He said pulling back to look into her face.

"I know. I got all the messages. I just couldn't get past my anger. I was very mad at you." She admitted. "I can be stubborn, sometimes to my own detriment."

"Well, I take full blame. I am just thankful you let me in tonight." He smiled at her.

"Oh yeah, so I guess I have Becca to thank for all of this." She said, nodding slowly.

"Yes. She is an amazing person."

"Oh, yes, she is that. I wouldn't trade her for the world. Sometimes she knows what I need even before I do. But then I guess that is what a best friend is for." She said, a making mental note to find a way to thank Becca.

Jon felt he had a few more things to say on his own behalf, "Kat, I know I hurt you. And I do swear I will never take anything about you for granted again. I understand how important everything in your life is to you. And you have my word, it is equally important to me. I hope I can prove that to you for a really long time. I know the time we have been together has moved quickly. And I meant all those words in that song. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I don't care what it takes, I will do whatever we have to do to make this work. Please believe me when I say that."

Katie nodded, "I do, Jon. I do."

"And I know things have moved fast, but I'm serious when I say I love you. I have never been more certain of anything in my life. You are everything to me." He admitted, looking deep into her eyes.

Feeling her heart overflowing with emotion, she said, "I love you, Jon. I realize that now. I tried to bury my feelings because I was too afraid to think about the future and what could happen if you didn't feel the same way. But the minute I opened the door tonight, I realized what I'm feeling. And I love you, too." She leaned into him putting her head on his chest. "We'll figure it all out. But right now will you please just hold me?" She begged.

Not giving her time to ask again, he stood up picking her up in his arms, and carried her into the bedroom. Once he laid her gently on the bed, he closed the balcony doors and went back into the bedroom. He laid down beside her pulling her into his arms.

Chapter 38